Love & Career: How in the world do you balance both?
Business first, pleasure later. That’s always been my mantra when it comes to my career and pretty much everything else in my life.
While that saying still rings true today for me, I’d like to think I have done some bending on that rule as I’ve gotten older.
As a sophomore in college I began to seriously think about my career goals and the steps I needed to take to achieve them. If my friends or significant other couldn’t fit into those plans they had to get left behind. Now, I promise I’m not as heartless as that might make me sound, but in all honesty having that mentality kept me focused on the right things at that point in my life. My degree and my career.
Early on, I always felt like I had to choose one of the two: career or love. And while some see it that way, as I got older I began to ask myself, who wants to have a career and no one to share their life with? Why can’t I have both? The truth is, I believe you can have both, but it’s anything but easy.
While I am not Sway and don’t have all the answers, here are a couple of things to consider on how to balance both love and your demanding career.
Is it the right person?
During my last year of college I fell in love with my now-fiancé. At the time I couldn’t have been more uneasy about the idea of being in a relationship. I was about to embark on a career journey that required me to change cities every 1-3 years, and not to mention would likely have to start my career in the middle of nowhere (which I did in Lawrence, Kansas). While I had my doubts, and so did everyone else, we decided to press on. We committed to a long distance relationship for two years that I know wouldn’t have worked had it been with anyone else. My fiancé and I built our relationship on trust and kept a lot of people right where they belonged…on the outside. Ask yourself, “What is my partner doing that proves they’re invested in me? In our futures?”
Balance is key
Unfortunately, decisions made in a relationship can’t be solely based off of feelings. Had I done that coming out of school I would’ve never started my career the way I planned to all throughout college. Finding that perfect balance of career and love is essential, and quite frankly it’s a skill that requires work all the time. There’s a delicate balance between making decisions with your mind and with your heart. Just make sure the decisions you make with your heart don’t have you losing sleep at night, or cause you regret. Find peace with the decisions you make with your heart and keep it moving!
I know I don’t have it all figured out, but what I do know is that it’s a constant learning process. Finding the right person for you isn’t only about love, but a partner that embraces flexibility and change, especially when you have a demanding career!
Sacrifice is required
Did I mention sacrifice? The word sacrifice is always a tough pill to swallow. I’ve learned that sometimes one person has to take a backseat so the other person can shine. My fiancé and I sacrificed being in the same city for two years so I could start my career and he could finish school. Sacrifice isn’t such a bad word when both people in the relationship are willing to take part, but remember, sacrifice doesn’t mean you have to stop working on you or your career. Even small steps forward mean progress.
Pray on it!
In all honesty, this shouldn’t even be the last thing you do. It should be the first! Anytime I have a decision to make I ask God to guide my steps, especially when it has to do with my relationship and/or my career. Discernment is key and I pray for it in all situations. Take time alone to just be with your thoughts. Speak what’s in your heart out loud ask for spiritual guidance.
Let’s be honest, love definitely complicates things, but if you have someone willing to take the journey with you, support your goals, and adjust to the changes life throws at you, you’re already headed in the right direction.
How do you balance your love life and career? Share below!
